Oh shit.
I try and gather words but the most I can do is lick my lips as he pushes dark waves of hair out of his eyes and looks at me and says, “hi.”
Jesus Christ.
He grins then, a dimple appearing in his left cheek. I scratch at my throat, unable to process what’s happening internally: it feels like lightning. What was that song about lightning in a bottle? It feels like that pinging around my insides. I am mortified but can’t stop staring so I don’t know what to do except get him out of the store and never see him again.
“Oh. Um. Hi. Can I get you something? Or did you already order?”
He walks up to the counter and the lightning turns into fireworks in my veins. I try and grab a few breaths but they come out as whisps.
I’m definitely going to need a drag from my inhaler after this.
He raises an eyebrow and I look away.
Sweet baby Jesus this man is a walking pregnancy threat.
Nope. No. Immediately no.
I take my index finger and push the nail into the fleshy side of my thumb, bringing me back to reality.
We’re not doing this, Nova.
He opens his mouth to answer, but we’re interrupted.
“Hey, I’m going to grab some coff—” Gabi walks out from the back and takes one look at my face and freezes. She wrinkles her brow, trying to decipher what’s happening, when the man turns around and smiles at her. Her eyes widen and she returns the smile, the change in expression happening so quickly he doesn’t even notice. When he turns back to me she mouths WOW before motioning drinking and pointing to the door.
“I’m grabbing coffee. Do you want anything?”
I glance again at our visitor and hold up my hand. “Just a minute. Sorry.” He shrugs and leans against the counter, crossing his arms. I see his biceps flex under his grey hoodie and I dart my eyes away again, completely flustered. My toes curl in my Doc Martens and Gabi’s lips curl just a hair as she sees me flustered over this customer.
It’s been a while since I’ve had a visceral reaction to someone.
I straighten my shoulders, remembering again what happened the last time I felt this way — five years of narcissistic abuse and all I got out of it are the therapy appointments I still have booked in my Calendar. Just remembering this is enough to have me relaxing a little.
But wait. Did I feel this with Corey?
I don’t know if I did.
“Um, yeah. My usual,” I call to Gabi and she nods in understanding as she wraps a scarf around her neck.
“Triple shot iced mocha with coconut milk coming right up — be back soon.”
The bell signals her exit and I drum my fingernails on the counter.
“Sorry about that — were you picking something up or just looking around?”
He looks back at me and smiles. “I ordered something yesterday.” He motions to the door Gabi just walked through. “Pretty sure I spoke with her about what I wanted. It’s an order for Jax?”
I swallow, keeping my face even.
Of course. Despite my resolve to not entertain the attraction, my heart sinks. Of course he’s picking up the apology bouquet.
He has fuck boi written all over his pristine white sneakers.
I refuse to react but I can feel the way my body immediately cools toward him and I know he has to see the shift as well. I clear my throat and try and summon some southern niceties back into my tone.
“Jax you said?” I turn and open the cooler, pulling the vase out and placing it in between us, reading the order card Gabi wrote yesterday. “A blended rose bouquet — not just roses, can be a bit different and not necessarily romantic…” I pause for a moment with the last phrase, confusion crossing my face. I blink it away and push the vase forward. “Colors requested were pale pink and red? My notes say you already paid so you’re good to go.”
“Wow. This is perfect,” he says, admiring the arrangement. “She nailed it.” He looks back at me and smiles again, this time the corner of his eyes wrinkling in amusement. “Will you tell her thank you when she gets back?”
My lips curl under for a fraction of a second and I shrug. “Sure.”
He turns to leave then, balancing the vase in his arm as he pushes the door open with his shoulder and looks at me again with a wave.
“Have a good one.”
I watch as his retreating figure pulls his keys out of his pocket and opens the passenger door of an Audi. I drop my head in my hands and groan.
I am so….so very single.
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